Oh noes. I'm treating this place like it's Facebook.

Here you go folks - 10 updates that very nearly went on Facebook until I reminded myself that going from 104 'friends' to 103 almost killed me and that if I continue spamming people with my life then they will leeeeeeaaaaaave meeeeeeeeee:

10: I regret telling Remy about Santa. Suddenly I realise that Santa gets the credit for the stuff I buy. Eff off Santa - if you want the credit, you buy the bloody presents.

9. I have a new favourite song and when I have a new favourite song I listen to it 73 hundred million times in a row. It's so I can get all the goodness out of it. Boyfriend on the other hand has a new least-favourite-ever-in-his-life song that he has listened to 73 hundred million times...

8. Remy's current career-of-choice - Giraffe. One that eats people.

7. Coming in at close second is stuntman. It's not clear yet if he will be a stuntman who also eats people.

6. Do not follow this link unless you are happy to lose hours (and hours and hours) of your life. And definitely do not look at this one. I warned you.

5.When I was little and had trouble going to sleep my mother would say "Don't worry, we're not going to have fun without you". Now that I am a parent myself, I'd like to point out that my mother is a LIAR.

4. Sewing win! I made a car seat cover. And I only swore ... well, I only swore all the time but maybe if I'd been trying harder not to swear I wouldn't have had the energy to finish the car seat cover?

3. Uh oh... I can feel a NEW FAVOURITE SONG coming on... are you ready boyfriend? Boyfriend? Hello?

2. I was at the dentist and had Remy there with me. Remy asked the dentist if he had to go to school for a long time to become a dentist. His answer? "Not as long as a vet". Comforting.

1. Me: I love you.
Remy: Yeah. Look at this booger.


PS Would you like to listen to an awesome song? Here, try this:

5ives: The silver lining of unemployment

1. I can write anything I want on my blog and not get fired.

2. When people ask if I'm free for coffee the answer is always Yes, Yes, Yes.

3. Sick days are just like all other days... just with more, um, sickness.

4. It's almost impossible for me to put on weight because I can't afford the junk food required.

5. I get to watch my beautiful boy growing and learning everyday. Awwww.

Remoir - the self portraits

I started uploading some photos tonight and look what I found - Remy must have got hold of my camera and staged his first self-portraits. What an artist.

 

 

 

 

No thanks, I prefer scooters.

 

 

 

 

My baby turned 2. Blimey.

 

Playing at Riverstone in Black and White

I do declare

This has been the best Mother's Day ever. EVER.

Check out this beauty:


Oh, yes siree - that's pure pasta right there. Plus, not only is this necklace a thing of beauty, it also goes with everything I own.

And I got a cup of tea in bed this morning.

Yep, best Mother's Day ever.

Introducing...

...the child that refuses to take a daytime nap anymore (even though he gets very, very tired).

 

What in god's good name to people do ALL DAY with a child?

In other breaking news, I think my electric blanket may have been on all day because I burnt my feet getting into bed.

Here's a tip

Today when I was changing Remy's nappy, I found 30 cents. It was like getting a tip for a job well done.

Every cloud and all that.

I've not been very well these past few days. It's been a great chance to lie down and catch up on sleep. That, and I've finally done a bit more on this.

Remy's gone to stay at the farm with my parents. I've only had two texts so far. The first asked when in god's good name would the child have his daytime nap because my mother needed a break; and the second asked when the hell he would wake up because the puppy was bored and needed Remy to entertain him.

So, yes, I think I can conclude that all's well at the farm.

I'm working on getting better and will report back to y'all on what else has been happening in the van Rose household.

10: Things Remy did while naked this week

1. Gardening.
2. Dancing.
3. Stood in front of the open freezer.
4. Rode the rocking horse.
5. Rode his bike.
6. Read stories.
7. Watched telly.
8. Greeted visitors.
9. Ate dinner.
10. Ran around the lounge like a maniac.

Outside the box

Two of Remy's favourite things are stealing my mascara to apply to wherever/whatever he pleases, and cleaning his ears.

This week, he killed two birds with one stone by using the mascara wand to clean his ears.

 

What a genius.

Horsing about at home

I do like it that Remy has started talking buuuuuut

...I could swear that he just said to me "bye bye dumb dumb".

Man vs Nature: The Remy Edition

 

 

 

 

Remy implements exit strategy to get sand out of sandpit. Sand overwhelmed. Other children at playground not so much.

 

 

 

 

10: The Remy edition

This week Remy:

1. ate, then pooed, charcoal. Yum.

2. said 'ouch' every time I cut one of his toenails or fingernails. There were a lot of ouches.

3. went to bed at 9.30pm three nights in a row.

4. spent the day naked three days in a row.

5. started throwing himself in and out of the bath.

6. danced. A lot.

7. watered the garden. And himself.

8. ran outside to pee twice.

9. discovered the ice cream in the freezer (at least it's an improvement from gnawing on frozen mince).

10. Came to visit me at work for a few minutes. In that time, he almost flooded the executive office. Oops.

Cluck cluck cluck

 

Working in a baby store makes me nostalgic for the days when Remy was first born.

 

God knows why. I was so sleep deprived that I barely knew which way up to hold him.

 

But there is something about how completely snuggly and milky and delicious new-born babies are. I think that's what makes me want to steal them when they come into the shop.

Fire trucks are very hot right now.

A guy only turns one once

 

Remy had a great birthday. He got some wonderful gifts and enjoyed being the centre of attention all day. Mum whipped him up a birthday pavlova, and the family enjoyed a huge dinner (Remy was sleeping by that time, and that seemed a pity, so I had two serves of pudding - one for me, one for him).

 

Something comes over me when setting the table at my mum's. I seem to go from finding a nice table cloth, to polishing the silver candleabras in about 10 minutes. This time it went from needing the damask tabecloth, to getting out the matching napkins, then there was the 67 year old Alfred Meakin dinner set, followed closely by the silver cutlery, the crystal water jug and matching cups plus the brand new Costa Boda wine glasses. The candleabras nearly didn't make it but then I found candles in the civil defense survival kit*.

So, the table was a little over-dressed for what was supposed to be a family dinner but I don't mind. I'm thinking of it as a trial run for Christmas.

 

*and this should be reason enough for all of us to get our emergency kits together. Why don't they put that on the ads?