Here you go folks - 10 updates that very nearly went on Facebook until I reminded myself that going from 104 'friends' to 103 almost killed me and that if I continue spamming people with my life then they will leeeeeeaaaaaave meeeeeeeeee:
10: I regret telling Remy about Santa. Suddenly I realise that Santa gets the credit for the stuff I buy. Eff off Santa - if you want the credit, you buy the bloody presents.
9. I have a new favourite song and when I have a new favourite song I listen to it 73 hundred million times in a row. It's so I can get all the goodness out of it. Boyfriend on the other hand has a new least-favourite-ever-in-his-life song that he has listened to 73 hundred million times...
8. Remy's current career-of-choice - Giraffe. One that eats people.
7. Coming in at close second is stuntman. It's not clear yet if he will be a stuntman who also eats people.
6. Do not follow this link unless you are happy to lose hours (and hours and hours) of your life. And definitely do not look at this one. I warned you.
5.When I was little and had trouble going to sleep my mother would say "Don't worry, we're not going to have fun without you". Now that I am a parent myself, I'd like to point out that my mother is a LIAR.
4. Sewing win! I made a car seat cover. And I only swore ... well, I only swore all the time but maybe if I'd been trying harder not to swear I wouldn't have had the energy to finish the car seat cover?
3. Uh oh... I can feel a NEW FAVOURITE SONG coming on... are you ready boyfriend? Boyfriend? Hello?
2. I was at the dentist and had Remy there with me. Remy asked the dentist if he had to go to school for a long time to become a dentist. His answer? "Not as long as a vet". Comforting.
1. Me: I love you.
Remy: Yeah. Look at this booger.
PS Would you like to listen to an awesome song? Here, try this:
Showing posts with label Facebook misses out. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Facebook misses out. Show all posts
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Things that almost made it into my Facebook status updates this week
Sometimes my friends have no idea how considerate I am to them. This week alone I managed to (almost) stop myself from spamming them about my life via Facebook*. You, dear blog reader, have not been so lucky.
The 10 things I might have said on Facebook had some pesky sense of control not got in the way:
10. Remy is completely convinced that we do not drink cow's milk, instead we drink human's milk. It makes me picture human milking sheds. This alone is almost enough to turn me from flat whites to espressos.
9. Why was the farmer so specific about not shampooing the lamb? Why did he ban me from making her clothes? Does he give these instructions to everyone who looks after a lamb for him?
8. I don't have an attention span long enough to watch TV anymore. Not even the ads. What's next? That I won't be able to concentrate all the way through a blink?
7. Shut up body. I walked the 500 metres to the dairy. It wasn't a freaking hike up Everest.
6. Motherhood is not a good enough excuse for not showering. Ok, maybe it was when Remy was a screaming infant, but not now that the child is 3.
5. I have watched two rugby games in the past 8 weeks. I am the world's greatest girlfriend.
4. I stormed into the house of the people suspected of burgling my house and yelled at them. The Police have since reassured me that, while they are not the type of crims to stab me while I sleep, I should probably not do it again just in case. Good point Gov.
3. But the farmer didn't mention not painting the lambs hooves with pink nail polish... Megan 1, Farmer 0
2. When I casually mentioned to my mother that I was going to Wellington for the night while Remy had a sleep-over at a friend's house she gasped "But what if he wakes up? Don't do it Megan!" in the exact same tone she would use if I had said that I was leaving Remy with a pack of wolves for a week. In Christchurch. With no emergency survival kit. That woman never wants me to have any fun.
1. Looks like I'll never play Trivial Pursuit ever again. Boyfriend is a doctor and it turns out they have to know stuff. Like, lots of stuff. I'm pretty sure second year of med school must be entirely focused on memorising the cards from the Trivial Pursuit: Genius Edition.
*Is there such a thing as 'a little spamming'? Or is it like being pregnant - either you are or you aren't? If there is such a thing, then I did it. I spammed them a little bit.
The 10 things I might have said on Facebook had some pesky sense of control not got in the way:
10. Remy is completely convinced that we do not drink cow's milk, instead we drink human's milk. It makes me picture human milking sheds. This alone is almost enough to turn me from flat whites to espressos.
9. Why was the farmer so specific about not shampooing the lamb? Why did he ban me from making her clothes? Does he give these instructions to everyone who looks after a lamb for him?
8. I don't have an attention span long enough to watch TV anymore. Not even the ads. What's next? That I won't be able to concentrate all the way through a blink?
7. Shut up body. I walked the 500 metres to the dairy. It wasn't a freaking hike up Everest.
6. Motherhood is not a good enough excuse for not showering. Ok, maybe it was when Remy was a screaming infant, but not now that the child is 3.
5. I have watched two rugby games in the past 8 weeks. I am the world's greatest girlfriend.
4. I stormed into the house of the people suspected of burgling my house and yelled at them. The Police have since reassured me that, while they are not the type of crims to stab me while I sleep, I should probably not do it again just in case. Good point Gov.
3. But the farmer didn't mention not painting the lambs hooves with pink nail polish... Megan 1, Farmer 0
2. When I casually mentioned to my mother that I was going to Wellington for the night while Remy had a sleep-over at a friend's house she gasped "But what if he wakes up? Don't do it Megan!" in the exact same tone she would use if I had said that I was leaving Remy with a pack of wolves for a week. In Christchurch. With no emergency survival kit. That woman never wants me to have any fun.
1. Looks like I'll never play Trivial Pursuit ever again. Boyfriend is a doctor and it turns out they have to know stuff. Like, lots of stuff. I'm pretty sure second year of med school must be entirely focused on memorising the cards from the Trivial Pursuit: Genius Edition.
*Is there such a thing as 'a little spamming'? Or is it like being pregnant - either you are or you aren't? If there is such a thing, then I did it. I spammed them a little bit.
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